Loving the Immunocompromised in Our Community

After the two series of sermons on love in the last two months, I’ve been thinking about love.  One of the questions I asked myself was how I could better love others.  Then I realized I also needed to think about how others could best love me, an immunocompromised person who can pick up illnesses at the blink of an eye.

That made me think about how many times I’ve messed up.  Before I was immunocompromised, I took immunity for granted.  I grew up on a farm, and we worked whether we were sick or not.  The cows had to be milked, the chickens had to be fed, and the crops had to be harvested.  Unless we were super sick, we pressed on and just did the work.  I went to school with colds but stayed home if I had measles or mumps.  As an adult, I had that same standard.  I went to work with colds and I’m sure I spread them.  I just didn’t stop to think, didn’t comprehend what I was doing, especially to immunocompromised people.  I’m sorry I did that.  Please forgive me if I shared my germs and viruses with you.

There are many causes of people being immunocompromised.  Some of those include but are not limited to diabetes, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, IBD, and MS.   Some cancers can also decrease a person’s immunity, and chemotherapy and other medications can cause our systems to become compromised.  In my case, I have Small Cell Lymphoma/Leukemia, also known as cancer of the immune system.  My over-simplification explanation is that it does not allow my body to make antibodies, nor does it maintain the ones added to my body.

So how can people best show their love for people with compromised immunity?

·         Recognize that this is not a figment of our imagination.  It’s for real.  We don’t like it, don’t want it, but we must live with it.  We’ve had to make adjustments in our lives to cope with it.

·         Show respect for what we are doing to protect ourselves.  Most of us take responsibility for ourselves and don’t demand that others protect us.  We may avoid gatherings.  You’ve seen some of us wearing masks for years.  I choose to have them in my purse, my car, wherever I am.  Depending on the circumstances, it may be a two or three ply or it may be an N95.  I am responsible for me, and I will do what is needed to take care of me.  But sometimes I may still get sick.  One example was when I contracted Covid after having the vaccines and while wearing a mask.  So, if I suspect I could contract something, I may avoid crowds.  If you see an immunocompromised person avoiding people, respect that boundary.

·         Use fist bumps and elbow bumps with us instead of handshakes and hugs.  That protects us from many germs and viruses.  If hugs occur, make them side hugs so our faces are not close to your breath.

·         Understand that we may be inconsistent.  This sounds odd, but we may be inconsistent about wearing masks and socially distancing.  Why?  Most of us follow our bloodwork carefully and know whether we have enough immunity to fight off something.  We may have immunotherapy infusions or take pills to build up our immunity.  I get an infusion every three weeks, and if for some reason it must go beyond those three weeks (example – it’s not available because of the shortage of blood donations), then I am much more careful.  Bloodwork shows that some vaccines only last in my body about three to four months so that means I need to be more careful.  Most of us who are immunocompromised know our bodies and strive to take care of them.

·         Understand that there is another reason for being inconsistent:  sometimes we just choose to take risks.   Our need to be with family may feel greater than our need to protect ourselves, or something else may be super important to us.  You may question us and find out why we are taking risks but respect our right to do so. 

o   Bottom line of those last two paragraphs:  trust us to take care of ourselves even if we are inconsistent but gently remind us if you suspect we are taking too many risks.

·         Eating in public for severely compromised people can be a challenge.  If you have chosen to not stay up to date on your vaccinations or get current vaccinations like flu and COVID, it may be wise for you to not sit with us.  It’s not that we don’t like you and don’t won’t to be with you.  It’s that you care enough about us to protect us.  Remember, this is not our choice, and we don’t want to be this way.

You may have issues that creates unique needs for you.  How can we better love you?  Teach us, so that we can practice I Corinthians 13 with you.

-Linda Smock